love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
