so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
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