So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
