There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
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