I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
