Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
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