When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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