how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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