so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
