what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Randomize
