hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
