My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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