Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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