Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Randomize
