Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize