fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Randomize
