? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
