we're chasing vodka with high fives
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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