You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Randomize