Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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