why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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