STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
