wat bout pragnant strippers??
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
