just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
