I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
