So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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