I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
