please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
