She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize