But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Randomize
