afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
