so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
