Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
