Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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