She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Operation Purity has been aborted
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
