They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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