people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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