awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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