need another drink. this is the easiest way
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
