garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Randomize
