She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
