mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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