even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
whose ass print is on the piano?
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize