sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
