Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Well apparently he's into motor boating.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
Randomize
