how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
