We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
