matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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