I faked an abortion last night.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize