Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
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