Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
