what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Randomize
