I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
