She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize
