i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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