He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
But theres a keg here and me gusta
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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