Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
