And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I was not drunk enough for that final.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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