That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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