Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
i already hear my dad disowning me
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
