maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
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