also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Randomize
