So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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