I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
why do cheetos always look like penises
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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