OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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