cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
