i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
