yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
