This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Randomize
