nut hugger
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
