I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
