I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Randomize
