somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
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