We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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