you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
