Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
