i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
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