sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
