dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
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