we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
